In a recent article I celebrated the magnificence of the pastoral life, and that is the prevailing sentiment of my life as a pastor.
But within the magnificence of this life is a pastoral burden carried by all pastors and their families. More pastors need to acknowledge this burden and all church members need to know about this shadow-side of ministry. So, I will attempt to give a quick glimpse here.
It’s always been hard
On a vacation to escape a particularly hard season of ministry, our family stopped at the battlefield where the Battle of Vicksburg had been fought. I searched for the spot where my great-grandfather stood with the boys from his church during that horrific siege.
I understand that this subsistence farmer and Baptist preacher had walked with the boys from his church near Sikes, La., through Columbia and up the road to Vicksburg—around 125 miles. Anecdotal evidence indicates that many of the preachers were armed and lined up beside their boys that made up the Confederate defense against the Union forces led by General Ulysses S. Grant.
As I stood where my forbear stood on that battlefield, I remember thinking that his pastoral assignment was much more challenging than mine, but that the pastoral life has always been hard in some weeks, months, and even years.
I have never gone with the children of my churches when we sent them off to war. But I have experienced conflict in a church and will always carry with me the memories and emotional impact. Interpersonal conflict is one thing, but the conflict that can emerge and even erupt within a human system such as a church family is only one of the huge challenges a pastor faces.
A relentless rhythm
If there is one factor that drives more pastors from the pastoral life than conflict, it is the sheer relentlessness of the pastoral burden.
My moment of awareness came when a caring church member told me the pastoral pace and pressures looked relentless to him. I countered that he and others worked very hard and that all committed persons walked an arduous path.
He countered with this observation: “Pastor, you will notice that my family and I are gone one to two weekends a month several months a year, and I see you working 50 weeks and 50 weekends a year.”
The pastoral life is relentless for most pastors. Now I know that some pastors are lazy and some find a rhythm that allows for many retreats and months on autopilot. But those pastors are in a small minority. Most pastors experience a relentlessness of pastoral responsibility that wears down the strongest of us.
Many challenges
So, is that all? If I were designing a “scared straight” boot camp for young pastors I would address, among many topics, the conflict, the systemic tumult, the pull in so many directions, the stress on the family, the expertise required in several areas, the rebound from mistakes and misfires resulting from bad ideas, and on … and on.
If I were to go to the full extent of unpacking all dimensions of this sometimes-embattled calling, I would lead seminars I have designed and led on systemic pathologies and even evil plots that have unfolded among unsuspecting disciples. But that would be appropriate only for those who want to actually understand and do something about such situations.
A good and insightful friend of mine is soon to publish a much-needed book in which he deals with the unrealistic expectations of pastors. I needed that book when I started. In my research on the pastoral life and talking with many pastors I have heard and seen the long-term effect of the pastoral burden and there are too many factors to mention briefly in this space.
The deaths
I will address one more area that wears as much on seasoned pastors as any factor I know. The deaths.
One of the pastors I most respect told me what keeps him up at night is “the cumulative effect of shared grief.” Most seasoned pastors are under the burden of burying too many people they love deeply.
They live with compounded grief. They bury their dead but hold them in their hearts and vivid images are retained in the pastor’s memory like video running on an endless loop through their minds.
Pastoral orientation in the Bible
So, do pastors know what they are getting into? Do church members understand what they are doing in asking a pastor to bring a family and dive into their predicament?
I mentioned that the pastoral life has always been hard and any careful reader of scripture has observed the burden carried by such leaders of God’s peoples as Moses, Joshua, David, several of the prophets of ancient Israel and the Apostle Paul.
I will leave Job and our Lord Jesus for their own special consideration. The mantle that has fallen on the shepherds of God’s people sets the pastor on an arduous journey.
All young pastors would learn much by reading and reflecting on Jeremiah’s complaints, words I suspect took the lament movement in ancient Israel to another level ((Jeremiah 11:18 –12:6; 15:10-21; 17:14-18; 18:18-23; 20: 7-13; 20: 14 –18).
But the best primer on accepting the challenge of the pastoral journey is probably the entirety of Paul’s second letter to Timothy (see 2 Timothy 1: 8-10 and 11-12; 2:1-3, 8-10; 3: 10-12 and 4:5-6).
So why do it? Why take up the mantel of the pastoral call? Why join the Apostle Paul in “suffering for the gospel” ( 2 Timothy 1:8, NIV)? And why stay with it?
Those are great questions we’ll discuss in the future.
Ron Cook is retired from the faculty of Truett Theological Seminary at Baylor University. He also served as pastor and interim pastor in several churches. The views expressed in this opinion article are those of the author.
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