When my mom died of leukemia, I was exhausted from the hospital stays, from moving into her home to care for her, and having her and her sitters live with me for a time. Our mother-daughter relationship was very close, and saying “good-bye”was anguish, stressful to the max.
When mother passed, it was a shock, as we thought she would live at least another few months. In fact, on the day she died, lab results showed her in remission from leukemia. Yet, she died from complications of the disease.
Life and death just cannot be predicted with certainty. They truly are in God’s hand, and we stand back in awe of his judgment and wisdom, weighing factors we do not know exist. To know God is to know he is purely love and mercy toward his children.
When we planned mom’s funeral service, I was half-numb and chose for a soloist to sing “Holy Ground.” I knew that was the right song but did not know why. Was this a poor choice, because we were burying our loved one in the ground? Were we thinking the burial site was holy? I surely did not mean to communicate that.
What is holy ground?
Recently I came to understand the concept of holy ground better. It is anywhere we meet God, where he speaks to us and transforms us—as God said to Moses at the burning bush, “Take off your sandals for you are standing on holy ground” (Exodus 3).
Holiness is where God stands and teaches us with tenderness and tough love. It can mean where God frees us.
Ann Voskamp has written we meet God in our “breaking”—which I take to mean our grief and deep sorrow. The God of mercy and love does not wish us to stay broken, but to be healed and refreshed in our relationship with him and ready to accept new life circumstances.
I stayed broken too long. I made God meet me over and over and carry me through years when I could have been more productive for his kingdom. But drawing me to intimacy and dependency on him, it was all holy.
Holy rebuilding
Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries with the empty chair—I have been there. Now, most of the chairs are empty.
New babies have been born into the family, but they do not replace a precious spouse, revered parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. We older folks are the “elders” now—the patriarch and/or matriarch in a long line of believing family.
It is wise to prepare for this phase of life and pray for every kind of leadership strength—physical, emotional, financial and spiritual.
Note to the young: Use every day of life to finish strong. The end requires of us all we are.
If you are alone or lonely this holiday season, if you feel broken by recent grief or grief that seems to last forever, remember: This can be your season of “holy ground” as God rebuilds you.
I see the picture of a broken, hardened pot reworked on the potter’s wheel and made even more beautiful and useful than before. That can be us with the touch of the master potter’s perfect pressure and heat.
There are some changes that only come through fire, a burning bush and the holiness of God. Refining fire changes the heart and life.
Ruth Cook is a longtime Texas Baptist. The views expressed in this opinion article are those of the author.
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