Tired. Overwhelmed. Tearful. These words described my spirit as the community health team and I headed across the city to do another hepatitis B camp.
We planned to give the second dose of medicine to a group of construction workers, hoping they would all come back after their first dose one month ago. But for some reason, my heart was heavy, and my eyes were glued to the heaviness outside my window. We were stalled for about 30 minutes at one point, and I could feel myself shutting down as I saw the pain in the eyes of those passing. I blinked and turned away, then saw a rickshaw parked in front of our vehicle. "Pray for South Asia" was stamped on two bumper stickers on the front. I knew God was speaking to me.
What is the answer to this burden for the lost, for my feelings of hopelessness? Prayer. What am I to do with this mass of broken humanity? Push it away from me, on to the foot of God's throne. Let him take the load and give me a piece or two as he instructs me on what I should do with them.
We spent the next 30 minutes traveling, and with each minute I saw more poverty. Each picture was like a blow. Hindu temples galore, the Muslim call to prayer, people in rags, filth on the streets, broken-down buildings, a beggar tapping on my car window.
A little boy asked for food. His small voice whispered, telling me to pray, but I began to hear Satan speak: "See? There is no way these people can know Christ. I am very powerful here. You are so powerless. Just give up. You're pathetic. They will never learn. They are too stupid, too far gone, too lost in the stronghold of evil. God's mission is impossible in this place." And he laughed.
I clenched my teeth as hot tears came. His words were my feelings exactly, but the Lord gave me the strength to resist in His truth. No, it is not. God is able. I will choose to trust him.
Psalm 37 has become a comfort for me here, as I wonder what good can be done by someone so small in faith in a world so full of darkness. I believe the words speak for themselves.
"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes." (vs. 3-7)
He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world. I will trust God. He is in control. I will submit my anxieties in prayer. He will be made famous. Evil shall perish. There will be South Asian tongues and knees at his throne.
Sign up for our weekly edition and get all our headlines in your inbox on Thursdays
Rachel, a student at the University of Mary Hardin-Baylor, is serving in South Asia.
We seek to connect God’s story and God’s people around the world. To learn more about God’s story, click here.
Send comments and feedback to Eric Black, our editor. For comments to be published, please specify “letter to the editor.” Maximum length for publication is 300 words.