Editorial: Superman is not your pastor
Superman is not your pastor. Even if he was, he’d still disappoint you.
For one, kryptonite; he’s not invincible. For another, he can’t attend to your distress call when he’s attending to someone else’s. Even Superman can’t be everywhere and all powerful all the time.
The same goes for Superwoman.
Why, then, do we expect pastors to be superheroes?
From growing up around pastors, to marrying a pastor’s daughter, to being a pastor myself, to relating to hundreds of pastors in my present role, I’ve spent a lot of time around pastors. Every one of them was and is a human being. Not one of them was or is a superhero.
Even so, most of them carry or feel enormous pressure in the pastorate. Much of that pressure comes from superhuman expectations.
Superhuman expectations are a killer—literally. They can lead to depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, heart attacks or strokes. They can wear pastors down, making them vulnerable to poor decision making and even moral failures. They can drive a pastor out of ministry and a pastor’s family out of the church.
It’s long past time we adjust our expectations of pastors.
Superhuman expectations
I’ve experienced firsthand the expectation pastors somehow are superhuman. Pastors are expected to be physically, mentally, emotionally, financially and spiritually strong and healthy—all at the same time and all the time.
How do I know these things are expected? Because I’ve experienced firsthand the shock, disappointment or discomfort when a layperson saw some of a pastor’s limits.
Pastors are expected to have everything figured out, to know all the answers, always to make the right decisions, always to lead toward growth, never to need help.
How do I know these things are expected? Because I’ve experienced firsthand church members’ anxiety and diminished trust when the pastor didn’t have all the answers. I’ve heard many times pastors blamed when a church didn’t grow. I know what happens when a pastor doesn’t see eye-to-eye with the rest of the congregation, or vice versa.
I don’t know where or when this problem started. But I do know pastors and laypeople share the responsibility for it. Together, we have created a cultural expectation that the pastor is always strong, always healthy, always closer to God, always somehow “better.”
We’ve justified our expectations of pastors with the admonition those “who teach will be judged more strictly” (James 3:1), ignoring the next words: “We all stumble in many things” (James 3:2, emphasis mine).
Holding pastors to superhuman expectations often doesn’t end well—for the pastor, the pastor’s family, the church and sometimes the wider community.
Part of what makes expectations superhuman is we don’t support pastors sufficiently enough to reach that high bar. It’s long past time we adopt realistic expectations of pastors and provide the necessary support to meet those expectations.
Matching support to expectations
Yes, we should maintain high expectations for pastors. Pastors are spiritual leaders, after all. We also should hold pastors to high moral standards. And we must recognize, for pastors to reach those high standards and expectations, sufficient support is required.
If we are going to have high expectations for pastors, then we should provide pastors equally high support. Some of that support must come structurally from the church, some personally from church members and some from pastors themselves.
Pastors can support themselves by not believing the lie they are supposed to be superheroes. Sometimes, that lie whispers inside a pastor’s own head. Sometimes, it’s a parental expectation that’s hard to outgrow. Sometimes, it’s voiced by the church a pastor serves. Wherever it comes from, it’s a lie.
Pastors must listen to the truth they know—they are human beings like everyone else. Churches must acknowledge that truth about pastors, too.
As humans, pastors experience stresses and pressures associated with their own lives as well as the lives of those in their churches. We need to resource pastors with the time and space to face these stresses and pressures.
For example, when a pastor is grieving the death or decline of the pastor’s own family member, support looks like providing time away, covering the cost of counseling, and church members maintaining unity and putting out fires for a while instead of expecting the pastor to extinguish them all.
Support also looks like pastors giving themselves permission to take time away to breathe and decompress.
Shared burden
Churches can provide the needed support by making sure pastors are adequately compensated. A church without the financial means to provide a full-time salary with health and retirement benefits should adjust its expectations for a pastor’s availability and consider a bivocational arrangement—understanding there are unique pressures that come with that option.
Pastors should receive a sabbatical—an extended time away on a periodic basis for rest, recuperation and preparation for further ministry. A church that thinks it can’t afford to give or allow a pastor to take a sabbatical needs to think seriously about whether it cares about its pastor and whether it cares about its own vitality.
Churches also need to insist pastors engage in regular maintenance through life-giving pastoral peer groups, regular—as in weekly—downtime, ongoing counseling that allows pastors to debrief and decompress with an uninvolved third party, and continuing education. And churches need to resource pastors to engage in this regular maintenance.
These are just some of the ways we can combine our resources to support pastors to meet realistic expectations for their ministries.
Ministry is challenging on the best days. It can be grueling and even devouring on days that aren’t even the worst. Ministry takes a special person to be a pastor under these circumstances. Not a superhero. A person called by God to be a pastor.
God hasn’t called Superman or Superwoman, yet. God has called and continues to call regular people like you and me. And regular people need all the support they can get.
Eric Black is the executive director, publisher and editor of the Baptist Standard. He can be reached at eric.black@baptiststandard.com. The views expressed are those of the author.