Commentary: Applauding forgiveness like Erika Kirk’s

Headlines and a slew of social media posts have commended three simple yet profound words: “I forgive him.”

These words, as many know, were spoken by widow Erika Kirk at the memorial service for her 31-year-old husband Charlie Kirk in front of a packed stadium of grieving spectators, including President Donald Trump, Vice President JD Vance and many others of prominence and stature.

The resolve and strength this wife and mother displayed, only 11 days following her husband’s horrific assassination, truly is astounding.

The emphasis she placed in her eulogy on revival and Jesus’ gospel message were equally moving.

Even more, the gravitas of the moment coupled with her inimitable bravery, emotional fortitude and agonizing tenderness gave many faith-filled women both hope and inspiration.

What about other women?

But even in that moment, I couldn’t help but think of other women I know who live and serve daily in quieter roles of faith leadership yet who also have suffered overwhelming injustice at the hands of criminals. Their ability to forgive is just as inspiring.

For example, a beloved friend and fellow leader had three young grandsons, mere children, viciously stabbed and murdered on a family fishing trip at the hand of an escaped convict.

Another woman I deeply admire was raped by her college boyfriend, a man who faced no manhunt, no arrest, no consequences, but instead lives his life freely and even has started a family of his own in her hometown.

A deeply wise woman I know had her entire retirement “nest egg” stolen and squandered by a licensed financial professional.

Another, an elderly friend who has served in vocational ministry her entire life, experienced the victimization of a sophisticated internet scam, one that included undetectable deep-fake AI videos impersonating a friend in need.

Four pastors’ wives I’ve met in the last year, leaders in their own right, suffered the injustice of watching their pastor-husbands resign due to the jealous and divisive actions of disgruntled members within their respective churches.

While the latter may not reach the threshold of criminal, these four women certainly suffered too. I, too, have experienced that kind of suffering and know their pain.

All these women have faith in spades, faith that far surpasses mine. Like Erika Kirk, they also have chosen to forgive. They’ve all had to persevere moment by moment, day by day, through tears and anger and all-consuming grief that rarely dissipates.

Can we do likewise, can we forgive those who hurt us, whether anyone knows we did?

A model of forgiveness

Should we applaud Erika Kirk’s public expressions of forgiveness for the horrific murder of her husband? I think so. I do.

While it makes sense Erika Kirk’s response to her husband’s assassination would be so public, I’d like to applaud the less-public model set by so many women.

I give a standing ovation to the unsung heroes, women who have managed to utter those same three words, “I forgive him,” yet have done so alone and in the dark recesses of the night with no fanfare, no crowd, no political platform, no presidential brigade, no financial recompense, no real justice, little emotional support, and limited agency to foster the kind of change Erika Kirk can.

I celebrate them, too.

When these women say, “I forgive him,” their voices reverberate the stadiums of heaven.

Ginger McPherson is a pastor’s wife, mom of three and director of Ministry Wives, a support ministry encouraging pastor’s wives and women in church leadership through the Tulsa Metro Baptist Network. She holds a Ph.D. in English from Baylor University and writes regularly for Lifeway Christian Resources. The views expressed in this article are the responsibility of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the Baptist Standard.