Haynes Searcy carried a burden of pain and shame from childhood, a secret so dark it led him down troubled paths, even while serving in ministry.
“I held onto things I was ashamed of,” he acknowledged.
Haynes’ journey with STCH Ministries began at a crucial point in his life when he needed refuge. The trauma he had carried for years was overwhelming.
He knew about STCH Ministries and its Pastor Care ministry through his church. Trusting them, he reached out for help.
“When I reached the point where I knew I needed help, I reached out to STCH Ministries, and they connected me with an awesome counselor,” Haynes said. “It was important for me to meet with someone who wasn’t in my area, because I didn’t want to talk to someone I previously knew, and STCH Ministries was able to do that. It was good.”
Dealing with a childhood secret
Haynes held a secret from his childhood that impacted him deeply.
“I was abused by a family member when I was 7 or 8 years old,” he said. “I never said anything to anyone, because I loved that family member. I was also introduced to pornography and other unhealthy things, thinking they were normal.”
These early experiences led to addictions that followed him into adulthood and his marriage.
“My wife didn’t live a life like mine and had no clue,” Haynes said. “I was able to hide it all, thinking I had given it to the Lord until one Thanksgiving morning.”
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That Thanksgiving, everything came crashing down. The trauma Haynes had suppressed resurfaced.
“I began reliving some things from my past,” he recalled. “My counselor later said this moment was God telling me that it was time to deal with it. I had been preaching God’s word on Sundays, but I had unforgiveness and hate in my heart. It was time to practice what I preached.”
While in counseling, Haynes was asked to write his story.
“There were things from my childhood I had forgotten about that only came out as I began to think back and tell my story,” he said. “It was hard.”
His wife, a constant support, helped him even when he did not feel he deserved it. During this time, Haynes stepped down from his role as a youth pastor to focus on healing.
“My church was very gracious and understood I needed a break while I went through counseling,” he said.
The process of healing brought significant changes to Haynes’ life.
“I can forgive those who have passed on, which is hard to do,” he said. “I’ve shared my story with other men, and there are pastors like me who feel there’s no place to go. STCH Ministries cares for the people who come to them. If you’re on the fence about getting help, just make the call.”
Able to share his story with others
Haynes emphasized the importance of seeking help, especially for pastors.
“It’s OK to take a break if you need to get help through counseling,” he encouraged. “It’s OK to stop and breathe while you receive help. On this side of things, I’m able to breathe and help other men with their addictions.”
Haynes—who serves on the staff of E320 Church in Victoria—sees God’s plan in his experiences as he reflects on his journey.
“I know what I experienced in childhood and the healing process is all a part of God’s plan,” he said. “I’m thankful I can share my story and minister to other men who have been through the same hurt. It helps them and me.”
Many men have approached Haynes, thanking him for sharing his story.
“There aren’t very many men who will be vocal about trauma from childhood,” he said. “But when I’ve shared my story, many men have come up to me afterward and said: ‘Thank you for sharing your story. The same thing has happened to me.’”
Haynes expressed his appreciation for the support he received from STCH Ministries and gratitude to its donors.
“I’m so grateful for the people who support STCH Ministries, because it helps pastors like me get through struggles,” he said. “Many pastors, families and individuals need a refuge, a place to go for help. We find that in STCH Ministries because of the continued support.”
Haynes’ story is a testament to the power of healing and God’s work through STCH Ministries.
“There’s a lot of freedom in recovery,” he said. “I’m still recovering, but I’m able to share my story, and that is everything.”
For more information on STCH Ministries Pastor Care and Family Counseling, click here.
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