The biggest lie I believed growing up was that I was not like other guys. My lack of ability in sports, the struggle to fit in and having unique interests separated me from my peers.
School bullies, verbal abuse by adults and growing self-doubt made things worse.
Writing and drawing helped me to escape into a world that didn’t remind me that I was an alien in a world full of people who I couldn’t connect with.
Growing up in the church also made a difference. The more I got involved in learning and using my gifts, the more real and enticing the lie felt as I entered my teen years.
The issue for me became a point of pride. In my view, I was serving in the church. I was an honor student. I was not causing trouble. I wasn’t a troublemaker. I didn’t fit cultural or social stereotypes.
As I continued in my faith walk, I learned the truth. As unique as the Lord made me, I was also like every other man on earth. I needed mercy. I needed grace. I needed salvation. I needed Jesus.
The Pharisee and the Tax Collector
Imagine going before the Lord in prayer. But instead of repentance, thanksgiving and asking for his help and guidance, you deliver to him your resume of good works.
In Luke 18:9-14, Jesus shares a parable about those who trust in themselves and operate in their own righteousness while despising others.
A Pharisee and a tax collector went up to the temple to pray. The Pharisee prayed, thanking the Lord that he was not like other men—an extortioner, unjust, adulterer, or even like the tax collector.
The tax collector, who was standing far off, would not raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast saying, “God, be merciful to me a sinner.”
Jesus said the tax collector was justified instead of the Pharisee, and “everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted” (Luke 18:14).
The heart of the matter
Jesus addresses the heart of the matter in the parable. It is fascinating that the Pharisee engaged in the routine to come to the temple to pray, but he didn’t seem to need much from God except acknowledgement of his own good works.
This kind of posture is dangerous for the Christian believer and is commonplace in our culture.
When we see people in trouble, struggling, or going through trials, our initial reactions shouldn’t be “God, at least I’m not like them.”
Our reactions to issues that impact us socially and culturally are rife with the self-righteous claims that somehow, we are better than somebody else, even by the smallest margin.
When we compare ourselves to others before God, we’re already missing the mark.
Romans 3:23 tells us, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”
The outwardly pious, religious man opens his prayer to God with a list of what he’s not. But Jesus’ standards are higher than that when you consider the Sermon on the Mount.
In Matthew 5:21-22, Jesus reminds those listening of the command not to murder. But Jesus goes further, explaining that anyone who is angry at someone without cause is liable to judgment.
In Matthew 5:27-28, Jesus addresses adultery and again goes deeper as he addresses looking at a woman with lustful intent.
In both cases, Jesus helps us by requesting us to be reconciled with one another as it relates to the issue of anger and murder. In the matter of adultery, Jesus encourages us to take radical steps in cutting off those things that cause us to sin.
Humbling ourselves
All of us are going through a patchwork of challenges and circumstances, some of which are because of our choices and others beyond our control.
Followers of Christ take to heart the depth of the parable shared by Jesus. We need to ask hard questions as we evaluate ourselves: Am I dependent upon my own version of righteousness in any way and do I despise others? How do I treat my neighbor or the person with an opposing view or lifestyle?
The more I learned and understood what the Bible taught about our human condition, the more I let go of the lie that I was set apart from such conditions by my own merit.
I’m also reminded of Matthew 5:7, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.” As I pray for the lord to have mercy on me, I’m moved to extend mercy as well as grace to others around me.
Even on our best day, our prayer should be “Lord, have mercy on me.”
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