Posted: 6/21/06

Explore the Bible Series for July 2

Live a life that seeks to meet God’s standards

• Job 29:1-31:40

By James Adair

Baptist University of the Americas, San Antonio

Clarence Darrow was perhaps the most famous lawyer of the 20th century. He was associated with many of the highest-profile cases of his day, including the Leopold and Loeb case, the so-called Scopes Monkey Trial, the trial of labor leader Big Bill Haywood, and the sedition trial of World War I war protesters.

He particularly was noteworthy for the impassioned closing arguments he gave on behalf of his clients. Going beyond a mere summary of the case he had presented, Darrow re-presented the elements of his case and appealed to the basic sense of fairness in the judge or jury.

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In this week’s lesson, Job has argued his case with his three friends over a series of three cycles of speeches, and the time has come to present his final plea—not so much to his friends as to God. Despite his earlier contention that because the innocent often suffer and the wicked often prosper the world is inherently unfair, he cannot shake the notion that God must be just. In his final appeal to the judge he hopes is fair-minded, Job states firmly and for the record his primary contention: He is innocent.

Job 29:1-25

One of the favorite pastimes of adults, especially older adults, is reminiscing about the “good old days.” They think back on the days of their childhood or youth, when life was simpler, music was better, society was more righteous and all was right with the world.

Job begins his final discourse with a note of nostalgia about the good old days. Back then, Job says, God was on his side, everything he did prospered and he was respected. If only he could turn back the clock.

Unfortunately, time moves only in one direction. People get older, the world changes, tragedies occur, and no amount of wishful thinking can reverse the process.

People have no choice but to live in the present, and they are faced with two challenges. First, they need to realize the good old days really weren’t as good as they sometimes think. To what period in American history do people today want to return? The Prohibition Era, when organized crime was rampant and the stock market surge presaged a devastating crash? The 1950s, when African-Americans suffered under Jim Crow laws and McCarthyism ran amok? The 1980s, when the gap between rich and poor increased dramatically and military dictatorships were the order of the day in Latin America?

Every era is characterized by both good and evil, and a period of time one person remembers fondly is a period another rejoices is long past.

Second, people need to realize the world constantly is changing. Advances in technology and medicine are generally welcomed, while changes in morés or beliefs sometimes are reviled. Since we have no choice but to live in the present, however, it is imperative we accept the fact of change, striving to mold it in positive directions according to our understanding of God’s will.

Job 30:16-23

When people face tragedy, it is not uncommon for them to lash out at those closest to them—family, friends, neighbors, even God. In her 1969 book On Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross identified five stages of grief through which people who have to deal with death and other tragedies often pass—denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Throughout the book, Job fluctuates among the middle three stages. At times, he is angry with God or his friends, accusing God of causing his pain and his friends of being lousy comforters. At other times, Job bargains with God, pleading with God to allow him a fair hearing at which he might present his cause. At still other times, he is depressed, wishing he never had been born and that his life would quickly come to an end.

In these verses, Job expresses his anger toward God, accusing God of cruelty and inattention to his plight. As Kübler-Ross documented, it is normal for suffering people to lash out at God, and in our ministry to them, we should not feel compelled to stifle their anger. Only when they have vented and fully expressed themselves will they be ready to move on toward the final stage of grief, acceptance.

Job is not there yet, and his friends have done little to support him in his crisis. Theological debate has its place, but it generally is counterproductive in counseling people who have suffered a tremendous loss.

Job 31:1-40

Job concludes his closing argument with a litany of vignettes that summarize his life to this point. Maintaining his innocence to the end, Job chooses several examples of both virtuous actions he has taken and sinful actions he has avoided:

1. He has avoided lust.

2. He has lived a life of integrity.

3. He has treated his neighbors respectfully.

4. He has treated his slaves fairly.

5. He has cared for the poor, the orphans and the widows.

6. He has put his trust in God rather than riches.

7. He has avoided worship of any other gods.

8. He has not rejoiced over his enemies’ troubles.

9. He has shown hospitality to strangers.

10. He has not concealed his transgressions.

Job is not claiming to have lived a life without sin, but he does contend he has lived a righteous life, worthy of God’s approval. When we measure ourselves against Job’s life, can we say the same?

Discussion questions

• If we had to make a closing argument for our life right now before an impartial judge, would we focus on the facts, or would we appeal to emotion?

• Is there a particular period in world or American history you think is appreciably better (in whatever way) than the present? Is there any benefit in longing for the good old days? What can we do as Christians to make future generations look back to this period with nostalgia?

• Have you ever experienced the stages of grief Kübler-Ross describes? Have you ever counseled people going through the stages? How does an expression of anger toward God make you feel?

• When we consider Job’s lifestyle, are there any omissions from his list that seem particularly striking? Which areas of Job’s lifestyle are the most difficult for people today to emulate?

Posted: 6/14/06

Twenty-two tons of sweet potatoes
just one draw at Crossover Triad

By Mike Creswell

N.C. Baptist State Convention

GREENSBORO, N.C.—Baptists threw muscles and prayers into Crossover Triad during the weekend prior to the Southern Baptist Convention annual meeting, using an international festival biker rally, rodeo, block parties, puppet shows and even sweet potatoes to get a hearing for the gospel.

About 2,000 volunteers served in the weekend evangelistic outreach. By the weekend’s conclusion, Mark Gray, church planting director for North Carolina Baptists, predicted the goal of starting 19 churches would be met or exceeded.

Gray expects the fledgling congregations to take wing by the end of the year.  Workers are using Crossover events to give an extra push to long-term results, he said.

Emily Adair, 10, (front) Landis Brown, 10, (middle) and Amber Numley, 11, (back) thrilled to a hot-air balloon ride piloted by Ken Draughn during a June 10 block party at Life Community Church in Jamestown, N.C. (BP Photo by Bob Carey)

Prayer was an integral part of the planning.  Saturday morning, several dozen Baptists gathered at South Elm Street Baptist Church on Greensboro’s south side for final instructions and maps to guide them to Crossover events.  The plan was for them to “pray on-site with insight” as the prayer-walking philosophy puts it.  They were to pray for the people working and the people they wanted to reach with the gospel.

“If there’s nobody there, remember, pray anyway, “ instructed Glenn Walker, a member of Faith Community Church in Shelby.

Three Crossover events highlighted significant ministry directions for North Carolina Baptists—bikers, cowboys and internationals.  Some of the 160 missionary church planters who work with the Baptist State Convention of North Carolina are pushing to get new Baptist churches organized among each of the three groups.

Undoubtedly, the loudest project was the Biker Day and Charity Ride for the Children which drew more than 350 people, most riding motorcycles, to a field near the Koury Convention Center in Greensboro.  A motorcycle ride through High Point and Asheboro drew over 175 riders and collected more than $3,000 for the Baptist Children’s Homes of North Carolina.  The Wheelz North Christian Stunt Riding Team performed stunts, spending more time on one wheel than two, it seemed.

Mike Young, event organizer and ministry coordinator for Carolina Faith Riders motorcycle ministry, has been helping churches all across the state establish ministries to reach out to the motorcycle enthusiasts within their local community.  He was elated with the turnout. 

“It has been an awesome day!  God is good!  What else can I say?” he asked with a broad smile.

“Red Hot” takes Triad-area bull rider Terry Owens for a wild ride during a June 10 rodeo in Archdale, N.C., sponsored by Triad Cowboy Church. Owens was the only one of 10 riders who stayed on his bull for the required eight seconds. (BP Photo by Jon Blair)

Riders from various Christian motorcycle groups came from all over North Carolina; some also came from Tennessee, Florida and Georgia, he said.  A number of non-Christians also attended, but he confessed it’s sometimes hard to tell a T-shirt-and-jeans-clad Christian from a similarly attired non-Christian.

“The idea of the day was to let people know that Jesus can make a difference and I think that has come through loud and clear.  Everybody I’ve talked to said they’ve had a great time.  And you know, nobody can walk away from here and say ‘I’ve never heard anything about Jesus,’ because the message has certainly been out today And that was our objective,” Young said.

The crowd quieted respectfully as Gerald Rinehart of Rinehart Racing took the stage to remind people that Jesus is the only way to get right with God.  Rinehart’s company engineers exhaust systems for NASCAR and for motorcycles.  Mr. Rinehart personally donated a set of Rinehart exhaust systems for the grand prize.

Transportation at the Cowboy Stampede at the Triad Livestock Arena in Archdale was of the four-legged kind, but the atmosphere was just as positive.  Hundreds of spectators, many sporting cowboy hats and boots, filled the arena to capacity to watch horseback riders race their mounts around barrels or poles at breakneck speed, competing against the clock and each other. Two cowboys even fired six-shooters and a rifle to shoot balloons, all while galloping at full speed.

The crowd stayed to hear cowboy evangelist Jeff Smith urge the crowd to let Jesus Christ straighten their lives out.  Smith wore boots, cowboy hat and jeans as he preached from the middle of the dirt floor arena.

Earlier on Saturday, well over 1,000 people filled the gymnasium of Ben L. Smith High School, a few blocks from the Koury Center, for an International Festival representing 15 nationalities who now live in North Carolina.

A stunt rider from WheelzNorth of Bolivar, Ohio, entertains during a June 10 demonstration in Greensboro, N.C. *BP photo by Bob Carey)

Asian children and Mexican grownups sang songs in their own languages and teenaged girls from India performed traditional Indian dances that seemed to blend traditional dance moves with the latest ones from the Bollywood music movies, all done to booming Asian music.

Organizer Vijay Kumar, who has started churches for Asian Indians, said he was delighted with the great turnout.  Outside, a refreshment stand operated by Carolina Baptist Association, handed out snow cones and hot dogs non-stop.

Some groups displayed crafts and items of cultural importance and some people wore their national costumes; kimono-clad Japanese girls walked demurely from the auditorium. 

Vietnamese spring rolls and other foods were offered and a Native American group, including some from the Lumberton, N.C. area, handed out sweet potato bread as samples.  Registration workers tracked visitors for later follow-up.

Not counting the livestock of the Cowboy Stampede, the heaviest Crossover project was likely the sweet potato one.

On Friday, scores of Baptists sat or knelt around a whopping 44,000-pound mountain of sweet potatoes in a Winston-Salem parking lot as they bagged the potatoes for delivery later to people as a helping ministry.

Joe Royston, who helped organize the Sweet Potato Drop, is a member of First Baptist Church, Downers Grove, Ill., and operates a ministry called Gleaners for the Lord.  He said the sweet potatoes were donated by a Louisiana grower, and Pilot Mountain Baptist Association paid to get them shipped to Greensboro for local delivery.  The freight was $3,200, according to Bobby Stafford, Pilot Mountain associational missionary.

Lynn Webb of El Bethel Baptist Church in Morganton, N.C. uses the EvangeCube to share the Gospel with a couple who attended a block party June 10 at Life Community Church in Jamestown, N.C. (BP photo by Bob Carey)

Friday night at Kernersville, members of Main Street Baptist Church threw a block party in a downtown park complete with barbecue, popcorn, music, puppets and games.  A 19-member ministry team from Whitesburg Baptist Church in Huntsville, Ala., provided puppet shows, drama and music, interspersed by preaching from team leader Johnny Crocker, Whiteburg’s minister of missions.

The most important contacts undoubtedly took place as Main Street members greeted visitors and invited them to their church.  Member David Wood laughed and joked with visitors as he welcomed them.

Some Crossover events were smaller, but still had local significance.  Members of Church at the Streams, a new Baptist church meeting in an elementary school, offered free car washes at a bank to get a chance to talk to people.  Pastor and church planter Todd Felkel was joined by five-year-old Max Graham who stretched to wash the lower edges of cars under the watchful eye of his mom, Mrs. Lailtrice Graham.  Meanwhile members of Hopewell Baptist Church, Morganton, N.C., operated a one-day Vacation Bible School at Sedalia Elementary School’s gym, where the church meets on Sundays. 

Youth and children minister Rob Castle, Lisa Baker and teenager Sarah Snow helped the children make bracelets of beads to help them learn the gospel.

Posted: 6/13/06

New Orleans Seminary president
thanks SBC for aiding recovery

By John Pierce

Baptists Today

GREENSBORO, N.C.—“One moment in time can change everything,” New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary President Chuck Kelley said, reporting to the Southern Baptist Convention for the first time since Hurricane Katrina hit last year, forcing a campus evacuation and causing about $38 million damage to the seminary.

Kelley expressed deep appreciation to the convention for helping the seminary community recover, saying, “We truly are one family in Jesus Christ.”

Other SBC agencies and institutions aided New Orleans Seminary during their crisis, said Kelley. Southeastern Seminary faculty and staff gave a “love offering” of $150,000, the International Mission Board sent $1.2 million, LifeWay Christian Resources donated $750,000 and GuideStone Financial Resources provided financial assistance to affected faculty and students, he noted.

“Thank you, Southern Baptists, for the way you ministered to our seminary family,” said Kelley.

Katrina significantly damaged student and faculty housing, and the school’s repair bill may top $38 million. But God spared the campus from the more significant damage experienced by two nearby universities, he reported, as well as from widespread looting in the area.

“God himself secured that campus from looters,” said Kelley, telling of large trees that fell across the major campus entrances.

Although they experienced damage to their personal property, Kelley said faculty and staff gathered at their sister seminary in Fort Worth, Texas, soon after the storm to “reinvent our entire curriculum.” The result, he said, was a continuation of the education program for many scattered students.

An earlier report to the SBC Executive Committee indicated the seminary granted 241 certificates and degrees May 13 to those now known as the “Katrina class.”

Churches are not leaving New Orleans despite the challenges of the last year, and neither will the Southern Baptist seminary there, he said.

“New Orleans Seminary is open for business … and, come August, we are going to be home once again,” he promised.

Posted: 6/16/06

Burleson optimistic despite
results of motion, bylaw change

By Hannah Elliott

Associated Baptist Press

GREENSBORO, N.C. (ABP)—Although Southern Baptist blogger Wade Burleson got no resolution to alleged abuses by trustees of the International Mission Board, he left the Southern Baptist Convention with a dogged sense of optimism that those problems would be resolved peacefully.

That optimism is surprising, considering Burleson's request for an outside investigation of the IMB was denied, a bylaw change to eliminate nepotism and cronyism on SBC trustee boards was gutted, and Burleson himself failed to regain full privileges as an IMB trustee. In fact, if convention messengers wanted answers to the charges leveled by Burleson and others, they got little more than silence and denial.

In one of the first motions at the annual meeting, Burleson asked SBC messengers to authorize the convention’s Executive Committee to create a special panel to study conflict at the mission board.

The panel would have been charged with investigating possible manipulation of the IMB trustee-appointment process; attempts by heads of other SBC agencies to “influence and/or coerce IMB trustees, staff and administration”; secret trustee actions; implementation of narrow doctrinal requirements for missionary service; and suppression of dissent by trustees who take a minority position on board matters.

Messengers instead affirmed the SBC order-of-business committee’s proposal to refer the issue back to the IMB trustees themselves. The committee argued that traditional convention practice indicates an entity impacted by a motion has “first authority” to respond.

After the ruling, Burleson said he’d return to the IMB and “wait for direction.”

“I do believe Allan Blume (order-of-business committee chairman) treated me very fairly and did what he believed what is best for the convention,” Burleson said in an interview.

“As a result, out of my respect for him as chairman of the committee, I chose not to fight the decision.” Blume is pastor of Mount Vernon Baptist Church in Boone, N.C.

Burleson said that, before he called for the ad-hoc committee to be formed, he tried to address the entire IMB board about his five concerns.

“Last December, I made it very clearly known that I would like to address the board,” he said. His request, which was denied, came before trustees tried to remove him from the board.

He hopes the issue can be cleared up before the agency reports back at the 2007 SBC meeting in San Antonio.

“If my concerns are dealt with internally, where they should be dealt with—and that’s key—then the report will simply say we have worked through the concerns. … If I can sign off on that, then this issue is over. That’s all I want. That can happen. I believe it will happen.”

The conflict surfaced last fall, when IMB trustees narrowed the qualifications for appointment as missionaries. They disallowed candidates who practice “private prayer language” and candidates who have not received “biblical baptism” as defined by the trustees.

Burleson, pastor of Emmanuel Baptist Church in Enid, Okla., protested, claiming the board shouldn’t impose requirements more stringent than the SBC’s 2000 Baptist Faith & Message doctrinal statement.

“If I can be shown, number one, that there is statistical evidence that those policies were needed because of problems on the (mission) field, and number two, that administration and staff worked with the trustees in support of these policies, I will be satisfied,” Burleson said. “If that is not shown to me, I must be given answers to why those policies were implemented.”

Some observers say the policy on “prayer languages,” a form of tongues-speaking, was pushed through by trustees intent on embarrassing IMB President Jerry Rankin, who acknowledges using the practice.

Burleson, on his blog, also criticized some IMB trustees for conducting secret caucuses to orchestrate the board’s formal sessions. Trustees, in turn, accused him of violating confidentiality rules, leading to the failed attempt to remove him.

During the IMB’s report to the convention, some messengers indicated they share Burleson’s concerns. John Floyd, the new IMB chairman, drew criticism from a messenger who asked about “the executive sessions which have continued for months and months” and which were not “giving the people the full understanding of what’s taking place behind closed doors.”

Floyd responded that there were times when the board needs to meet and discuss things internally with “the press out of the way,” but he said that at the last meeting the board did not call any such session.

“I’m not sure in whose minds these executive sessions have existed,” Floyd told messengers.

At several recent IMB meetings, trustees have held private, off-the-record “forums” in which they briefed their colleagues on confidential issues. Board members have been barred from disclosing what was said in the meetings.

In a similar exchange, Richard Peoples, pastor of Scotts Creek Baptist Church in Sylva, N.C., voiced concern about IMB trustees not being allowed to participate fully in board meetings—an apparent reference to Burleson’s one-year expulsion from committee meetings—or to voice dissent about board decisions.

“I’m not aware of restriction of trustee rights,” Floyd responded.

During their dispute with Burleson earlier this year, trustee leaders asked that he be removed from the board. The action would have been the first impeachment of a trustee in the SBC’s 161-year history. But trustees backed down, instead placing limitations on Burleson’s involvement with the board, barring him from executive sessions and committee meetings.

Floyd called for Southern Baptists to “trust these 87 men and women (trustees), who represent a cross-section of our convention, to do the right thing when it needs to be done.”

Earlier during the convention, Burleson asked SBC messengers to create an ad hoc study committee to break the IMB stalemate. “The only reason we are at this point (of conflict) is there was an impasse over selection of (an IMB) committee” that would seek resolution to the dispute, Burleson said.

In the first public acknowledgement of that effort, Burleson said he and outgoing IMB chairman Tom Hatley were to have appointed a committee but could not agree on its composition. Burleson said Hatley gave him a short list of names from which to choose, but he declined. Then Hatley declined to choose names from a list Burleson submitted to him through an attorney.

Messengers debated if the SBC or IMB should now investigate.

Steve Jacobson of Jonesboro, Ark., said the committee should use outside help to achieve reconciliation. “It’s clear that, regardless of motives, the trustees have had six months to deal with this, and they have not,” Jacobson said. “It does not seem that they have been particularly forthcoming.”

Robin Hadaway, a missions professor at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Kansas City, Mo., said the policies Burleson protested are necessary and proper.

“International Mission Board trustees deserve commendation, not investigation,” he said. Eventually, messengers agreed with the order-of-business committee to give IMB another chance to address Burleson’s concerns.

Also during the convention, Clif Cummings, pastor of First Baptist Church in Duncan, Okla., proposed that messengers request new IMB Chairman John Floyd restore Burleson to the “full duties and responsibilities of a duly elected trustee of the International Mission Board,” saying he and other Oklahoma Southern Baptists deserve to have representation on the board.

Cummings’ motion was ruled out of order because the IMB study committee is expected to address Burleson’s involvement on the trustee board.

The IMB dispute surfaced again during debate of an SBC bylaw change that would have excluded anyone who was employed by an SBC entity, and their spouses, from later serving on its trustee board.

At least three current IMB trustees are former employees—including chairman Floyd—and some have been critical of Rankin. The bylaw could have prevented Floyd and others from being re-elected after their current terms expire.

When the bylaw change was approved by the SBC Executive Committee a day earlier, Burleson praised the proposal, which he said would go a long way toward resolving the IMB dispute.

But the next day, IMB trustee Bill Sanderson later led a successful attempt to water it down.

Sanderson, a conservative leader and pastor from Wendell, N.C., said the proposed bylaw could prevent young Baptists—such as seminary students and their spouses—from serving on agency boards 20 or 30 years after holding minor jobs for the same entity. Messengers overwhelmingly voted to strike the conflict-of-interest language from the proposal.

“Bill Sanderson knew exactly what the implications of the bylaw were,” Burleson said. “The intent of the bylaw was to avoid any conflict of interest of administrators of agencies being put back on the board. I think that was the intent of the Executive Committee. If the people in the coliseum understood the implications, I think the vote would have been different. Nobody made clear what the issues were.”

Burleson said the SBC should refrain from corporate practices secular businesses routinely avoid. He said it is not appropriate for a former administrator to be on the board of trustees, saying “there are conflicts-of-interest policies across the nation regarding this.”

A seemingly unrelated item—a resolution urging that SBC trustees’ refrain from alcohol use—was interpreted by some bloggers as another slap at Burleson.

The resolution, which declares the SBC’s “total opposition to the … consuming of alcoholic beverages,” was amended to urge that only teetotalers be allowed to serve as SBC trustees. Jim Richards, executive director of the fundamentalist Southern Baptists of Texas Convention, proposed the amendment.

In an open letter prior to the convention, an IMB trustee called for an investigation of Burleson’s views on alcohol use. Burleson has said that, although he does not drink, he does not believe consuming beverage alcohol is inherently sinful.

In his blog after the convention, Burleson declined to “speak to the motives of people,” but he said “some of my blogging friends believe the resolution on alcohol use … is an attempt to embarrass me, or possibly remove me” as an International Mission Board trustee.

Despite the disappointing results at the convention, Burleson said he is optimistic about the SBC and the IMB.

“I am very positive about our future,” he said. “As far as my fellow trustees at the IMB, there are some great godly men and women there who are beginning to know me for who I really am. The small handful of people, and they know who they are, who oppose me asking questions now understand that until my questions are answered, I will not stop fulfilling my duties as a trustee.”

Marv Knox and Greg Warner contributed to this story.

Posted: 6/16/06

GuideStone investments positive,
most medical premiums decrease

By Bill Webb

Word & Way

GREENSBORO, N.C.—GuideStone Financial Services President O.S. Hawkins reported to the Southern Baptist Convention annual meeting that the organization’s investment funds are showing “tremendous success” and its insurance plans’ premiums have decreased.

Most of GuideStone’s investment funds are in the upper half of their respective categories, according to the Lipper Index, Hawkins said.

Forty percent of participants in the organization’s Blue Cross Blue Shield personal medical plans received rate reductions in 2005, while 57 percent received reductions in premiums in 2006, he said.

Current medical plans make it possible for more ministers to secure insurance, while varying deductibles help bring down costs, he explained. In addition, pastors are showing decreases in cholesterol, blood pressure and blood sugar levels.

“We’re trying to balance making everything affordable and getting as many people in the program as possible, Hawkins said.

More progress can be made in the overall health of ministers, he said. Seventy percent of pastors who took advantage of wellness testing in the convention exhibit hall are at moderate to severe risk for heart problems.

“The plight of our retired ministers and their widows continues to be the burden of our heart,” Hawkins reported.

During the past year, individuals and churches contributed $5 million directly and $1.4 million through the Cooperative Program to provide income supplements of $200 per month for individuals and $265 for couples in the Adopt An Annuitant program.

During the past 10 years, GuideStone has raised $52 million for the program, he said.

Posted: 6/16/06

CYBER COLUMN:
To camp or not to camp

By Brett Younger

It’s that magical time of year when pastors ask, “Do I want to join extremely young people and only a few truly adult sponsors for five days without long pants?”

These are completely acceptable excuses for missing youth camp:

• “I need a silent, individual prayer retreat.”

• “My own child will feel uncomfortable if I am there.”

• “Someone else’s child will feel uncomfortable if I am there.”

• “I can’t be away from my church/family/sanity that long.”

Before they choose an excuse, pastors should realize that if they actually attend youth camp, they will learn a great deal.

Every adult who goes to camp learns they are prehistoric. At 35, I entered a three-on-three basketball tournament. Early in the game, when I was still running, I tried to steal the ball. A young punk warned his teammate by yelling, “Old guy!” The high point came when the kid I was pretending to guard asked how old I was. When I answered, “57” he responded, “You’re not bad for 57.”

You may be surprised to learn that Led Zeppelin is popular again. (Maybe there’s hope for Barry Manilow.)

If you get up at 7 a.m., you will always have hot water, but the older you get, the more sleep you need.

After four days, it seems perfectly normal to eat French fries at every meal.

Don’t participate in the talent show unless you have a talent.

You may think this is obvious, but it wasn’t to me—don’t dance if there is a video camera in the room.

After a few days, some things at camp will seem almost amusing, but none of this is to be tried at home!

You may smile at unfortunate incidents involving shaving cream, Saran Wrap and baby oil, but do not begin to believe that the amused-by-water-guns person you are at camp is the real you.

I learned that I should not try to wake myself up in the morning like the youth at First Baptist Church in Austin do. They first sing “If you’re happy and you know it” in Swedish, “Ah la vis ma ha ta turka klappa nu.” (Try it.) Each person quickly pours a cup of coffee into a cup of ice and chug-a-lugs it as fast as possible. I was once invited to give a brief speech (“You people are like skydivers to me”) and join them. It wakes you up, but if you do this at home, you will feel stupid.

One of the clearest “this is not the real me” experiences was serving as the unenthusiastic coach for Monday Mega-madness—a 10-stage relay race. We threw our shoes into the center, ran to the middle, put on our shoes, and ran back. Pairs of participants sat on one another’s feet and inched their way to the center. The boys formed a circle around the girls and ran to the center. Two participants from each team ran to the center and spun around a baseball bat 10 times. We jumped on the ground and formed a flat pyramid. The team lay on the ground side by side and rolled one person, the “surfer,” to the inside. (I wish I were making this up). Two players rode piggyback to the center, then carried a third on a wet towel to the center. Each team member stepped through a Hula Hoop while holding hands. For a few isolated seconds, I almost enjoyed Monday Mega-madness, but I was more than happy to skip Wacky Water Wednesday.

I may sound a tad sarcastic, but the truth is that I love youth camp—until about 10 each night, and then I hate it until 7 the next morning.

Seven years ago, I was the pastor at youth camp. About 1 in the morning, I heard a ruckus in the hall. I climbed out of bed to go do my imitation of an assistant principal. I opened my door, shouted, “Hey!” and gave them a minute to run back into their rooms. They all scattered, except for one, who was locked out.

He was a junior in high school. He wasn’t from my church, but he came to camp with our church. He stood in the hall, locked out of his room, completely naked.

I said, “Paul, you’re standing in the hall at 1 completely naked. Can you explain that?”

Paul said, “I was sleepwalking.”

“Paul, I’m pretty sleepy, but I don’t believe that.”

“I didn’t think you would, sir.”

“Paul, why don’t you knock on your own door, put on some pajamas and go to sleep?”

“Yes, sir.”

I assumed that was the end of it, but it wasn’t. The next day, teenagers told me that there was a rumor that I “had caught a naked camper outside at 3 a.m. and called the cops, and who was it?”

I saw Paul, clothed this time, and suggested that he not mention our encounter to anyone. He said: “I wish you’d told me that earlier. I just got interviewed by the camp paper.”

The next day, there was a lengthy article on the front page. When I got up to preach that night, no one was thinking, “I must listen carefully for the word of God.” They were thinking, “There’s the old guy who caught the naked guy.”

I was happy not to have any contact with Paul for seven years—until a couple of weeks ago. I received a note that while I was in a meeting, “Paul, the sleepwalker from youth camp” came by the church to say hi. He left a phone number. We had a delightful conversation. Paul is now engaged. He’s a youth minister and a seminary student.

If you had asked me seven years ago to name the youth least likely to become a minister, I would have picked Paul, but I was wrong. Things change. People change. God changes people.

Ministers go to camp knowing they may end up extracting marbles with their toes from a wading pool filled with pancake batter, but they should also know that the grace of God is at work in surprising ways.

Brett Younger is pastor of Broadway Baptist Church in Fort Worth and the author of Who Moved My Pulpit? A Hilarious Look at Ministerial Life, available from Smyth & Helwys (800) 747-3016. You can e-mail him at byounger@broadwaybc.org.