Couples consider ‘Countdown’ time well spent

LEWISVILLE—For many couples, it’s like the seconds before a new year’s exciting beginning. For some, it’s more like the panic of watching a ticking bomb.

Newlywed Brooks Monroe insists counting down the days to his wedding by participating in Countdown to Marriage was time well-spent.

Monroe and his then-fiancée Lauren had been dating six years when they enrolled in the program at First Baptist Church of Lewisville, their home church.

“It was an awesome chance to invest in ourselves, and in our future, and in the future of our marriage. The topics were so applicable,” Monroe said.

Countdown to Marriage, a program designed by Byron and Carla Weathersbee of Legacy Family Ministries in Waco, prepares engaged couples for marriage through seven weeks of topical discussion of common marital issues.

The Weathersbees, both Baylor University alumni and members of Columbus Avenue Baptist Church in Waco, founded Legacy Family Ministries in 1995 after working in family ministry 13 years.

“What we’re trying to do is use the family institution as not only the greatest evangelism tool, but also the greatest discipleship tool,” Byron Weathersbee explained.

The program for engaged couples grew naturally out of ministering to families as a whole, he said.

“We had folks who just needed premarital counseling, so we launched a class of five couples,” Weathersbee said. “We tried to find curriculum that would meet our needs and was interactive, that really got couples working through issues and talking.”

Over seven weeks, couples analyze each phrase of a traditional marriage vow to address relevant contemporary issues. For example, the phrase “for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer” brings up “money matters”—the third topic in Countdown to Marriage.

Countdown to Marriage also includes the topics, “God’s purpose for marriage,” “roles and responsibilities,” “in-laws” and “communication and conflict resolution.”

Couples meet as a group once a week for instruction and feedback about the designated subject. Limited participation keeps groups small and conversational.

Monroe said he enjoyed the group interaction.

Learning from others' struggles

“We could all learn from each other’s struggles,” he said.

“I think if it were smaller, we would have missed out on a lot, but it wasn’t so big that you didn’t have a chance to contribute to the group.”

In addition to group meetings, couples are assigned weekly tasks—some individual, some are joint assignments. Activities like Bible study, focused conversation, romantic dates or prayer help couples process and apply lessons learned. Spending structured time working through weekly topics helps couples prioritize their relationship in the midst of pre-wedding busyness.

“The time we spent preparing for the lessons, and the time we spent sitting down with the group, was the most valued and cherished part of the week,” Monroe recalled.

Associate Pastor Brian Dodridge, who helps lead Countdown sessions at First Baptist Church in Lewisville, said he wished he had had the program when he was preparing for marriage.

“They’re all the conversations married couples ought to have, and often have 10 to 15 years into the marriage, but we’re introducing them on the front end,” he explained.

Although the program is scripturally founded and teaches a Christian worldview, non-Christians also enroll. Many couples pray or read Scripture together for the first time while in Countdown to Marriage.

Some non-Christians attend 

Since the program provides thorough preparation for marriage, some non-Christians attend out of sheer practicality.

“The majority of folks look to get married in either a church or synagogue, and they look to the church for guidance and direction,” Weathersbee said.

“We’ve made it fun, we’ve made it interactive. It’s appealing to young couples who’re really desiring to know what they’re getting themselves into.”

The program at First Baptist Church in Lewisville also draws attendance from all over the Dallas/Fort Worth area.

Countdown to Marriage has spread beyond the program’s base in Waco throughout Texas and Oklahoma. A condensed version of the seven-week curriculum also is available as a weekend retreat to facilitate those who live far from a program site.

“We’ve taken about 900 couples through this course and the weekender course, in and around Waco. We do a pretty good job of tracking those couples, and our last count we’ve had less than four percent who’d gotten a divorce,” Weathersbee said.

Monroe would recommend it to anyone preparing for marriage, he said.

“There’ve been times that we’ve wanted to go back and revisit those lessons. We do plan on it,” Monroe said.

“I felt so much more prepared and so much more ready, having gone through it … Although we’d talked about each one of those topics before … having someone lead us through it was better than the two of us stumbling though it alone.”