Foster youth create own Christmas traditions

Posted: 12/21/07

Foster youth create own Christmas traditions

By Haley Smith

Baptist Child & Family Services

SAN ANTONIO—Foster children seldom inherit family traditions.

That helps explain the growing success of the annual Christmas party for San Antonio, Kerrville and surrounding area youth involved with the Preparation for Adult Living (PAL) program of Baptist Child & Family Services.

What started three years ago with PAL staff cooking a meal for a handful of young adults has grown to attract 300 to this year’s event at the University of the Incarnate Word.

“This is the only Christmas most of these kids experience that they can truly call their own,” said Elizabeth Maria Garcia, 21-year-old PAL volunteer and foster alumni. “PAL often serves as more of a family than their foster families or group homes, and they are grateful to have people who care and support them like this.”

PAL teaches independent living skills to youth who have aged out the foster care system—or who are about to age out—while also providing a support system as they go out on their own.

The entertainment for the evening included vocalists from the University of the Incarnate Word singing Christmas carols, while the youth enjoyed their Christmas feast and mingled in a ballroom decorated in a candyland theme.

“The PAL Christmas party is my chance to bring a little bit of who I am into my job,” said Gayle Davis, San Antonio PAL site coordinator who planned the party. “I want to give these youth the big Christmas I grew up with and let them create their own traditions as they age out of the system.”

“The celebration has grown every year, becoming more and more spectacular each time,” said Jessica Medellin, PAL administrative assistant. “Our goal is that the community does not forget about these kids. They need love and hope, and that’s what we’re trying to give them.”

Efforts made by the PAL staff were rewarded with smiles and laughter echoing over the music as youth stuffed themselves on the turkey and the generous array of sweets.

“I am very thankful for PAL. The staff did a great job in helping me figure things out and get my benefits,” said Antonio Ortega, age 19, who is attending St. Phillips College. “This is my first Christmas on my own, and I am thankful that I get to spend it here.”

Many PAL youth spend their Christmases growing up in a variety of foster and group homes, often changing one year to the next. Ortega—an exception to the rule—spent 15 years with the same family.

“I still call them ‘Mom and Dad’ and will visit them during the holidays,” he said.

However, many PAL youth have nowhere to go and will experience no other Christmas celebration.

For Myra Caballero, age 18, the party isn’t just about celebrating the season; it also provides an opportunity to renew old friendships.  After living in three foster homes and two independent living homes, the PAL Christmas party is her only chance to catch up with former roommates, listening and sympathizing with their stories.

“If I could give them any advice, I would remind them not to take PAL for granted. The staff is great and the program offers invaluable resources and support,” explained Caballero, now a freshman at San Antonio College.

Many foster families also attended the party with their youth to see and participate in the festivities. One example was Steve and Judy Foster who attended with their seven children. They have adopted four and have legal guardianship of the other three.

“We’re big advocates of PAL. We began our involvement with the program in Tyler for three of our young adults.  We’re now going through the program here in San Antonio with our son Terrence,” Foster said.

The Foster family continues to spread their passion for foster care as more members of their family get involved.

“I guess Christmas was always a big deal to us, but now we’re opening the door for others to celebrate who might not otherwise have the opportunity,” Foster explained.

PAL staff explained their reason for throwing the party is simple. They want to spread the joy of Christmas.

“I love that the atmosphere represents a child’s fantasy land—especially considering that most of these youth don’t have a magical Christmas,” said Janie Cook, BCFS executive director of Community Based Services-San Antonio.

“We simply want these youth to know that they are so important that we put all of this together for them,” explained Terri Hipps, executive director of Youth and Transitional Living, including PAL.