Posted: 7/21/06
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With Bob Lockhart, their pastor at Northside Baptist Church in Del Rio, on one flank and Judge Thomas F. Lee on the other, the boy-full Burgi family pose after completing BCFS's first adoption procedure. From left: Lockhart, Raquel (holding Chris), Robert, Ron (holding Joey), Nathan, William and Joseph. |
Burgi home bubbles with boys
after 1st BCFS adoption
By Craig Bird
Baptist Child & Family Services
DEL RIO—Reply quickly if 6-year-old Robert Burgi asks, “What’s your name?” He’s in a rush to say: “I’m Robert Alesandro Burgi. And my name just changed.”
But the name change isn’t as striking as the change in his life. In fact, the lives of the whole Burgi family—now home to six boys—changed because of Baptist Child & Family Services’ newly licensed adoption program.
Robert and his younger brothers, Joey, 4, and Chris, 3, went to court in May with Ron and Raquel Burgi and three other boys already named Burgi—Joseph, 16, Nathan, 14, and William, 8—for a formal adoption hearing.
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aquel Burgi hugs her youngest son, 3-year-old Chris, during a rare sitting- down moment. |
It marked a highlight in the couple’s four-year journey to finalize a dream they feel came from God—a trip that began with a fruitless two-year struggle to be approved as foster parents by Texas’ Child Protective Services.
“There were times when we just wanted to quit,” Ron Burgi said.
“Our CPS caseworkers kept changing and one time didn’t even show up to do a scheduled home inspection. We were convinced this was something God wanted us to do, and we wanted to do it with all our hearts. But it seemed we couldn’t get through CPS’s bureaucratic red tape.”
That’s when Bob Lockhart, their pastor at Northside Baptist Church in Del Rio, suggested they contact Baptist Child & Family Services in San Antonio.
“I didn’t know the specifics of the foster program, but I was familiar with BCFS’s work with the STAR (Services to At Risk Youth) program here in Del Rio,” he explained. “Ron and Raquel have a special love for children and wanted so much to adopt that I thought BCFS might help. And they did.”
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Ron Burgi and 3-year old Chris hold down the right-hand swing beside (from left) Joey, Robert and William. |
Social workers from the Texas Baptist agency conducted the necessary interviews and home studies to certify the couple. Within weeks, they were introduced to Robert, Joey and Chris.
The boys’ new father met them first, because Mom had the flu. But when she saw them, she said, “I wanted to bring them back to Del Rio with me right then.”
It didn’t happen that fast, but within a few weeks, there were three more plates at the Burgi’s dinner table.
“We became foster parents with the goal of adopting,” Mrs. Burgi said. “We looked at foreign adoptions, but we realized that children who needed loving homes were right here in our city. We figured if we were taking care of children when the state terminated the parental rights, we would have a good chance to be allowed to adopt them.”
In late 2004, the three young boys moved into the Burgi’s house and hearts. In May this year, they became available for adoption—just as Baptist Child & Family Services received its license.
“Normally, there is a six-month waiting period, but because they were already foster parents, that was waived,” said Sarah Magill McLornan, adoption coordinator for the Baptist agency.
On May 11, McLornan made the 150-mile drive from San Antonio and conducted the final study the day before the hearing.
“The Burgis are such a great, fun family; their energy level is amazing. This was a great way to start the program, and we already have several families in the process of adopting through BC- FS,” she said.
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Ron Burgi has a shoulderful of boy as 4-year-old Joey takes refuge from a water fight in the back yard. |
Although Mrs. Burgi is a Del Rio native, her husband considers himself a transplanted and naturalized South Tex-an—and proud of it.
“The Air Force sent me here in 1983, and I just fell in love with the weather and the outdoor sports,” he said. “When I got out, I went back home to Southern California but would come back to Del Rio on vacation to fish. When I heard about a defense contracting job, I applied immediately.”
More significantly, just before returning to Texas, he became a Christian—which led him to meet his future bride. He started visiting churches in Del Rio and first saw her in the singles’ class at Northside Baptist Church. Later, at choir practice, he was impressed “by the way she was keeping up with two lively sons.” They married in November 1996.
William was born a few years later, and, not long after that, Burgi officially adopted Joseph and Nathan.
“We wanted them to be part of the decision,” he explained of the delay.
“But the boys pushed for it harder than he did,” his wife added.
When Mrs. Burgi lost a baby during pregnancy, the couple leaned hard on their faith and the support of their pastor and Northside members—and they started thinking of adoption.
“We don’t use the word ‘step-’ or ‘adopted’ around this house,” Burgi pointed out. “They all know they are loved the same. I feel exactly the same way toward all six—the same amount of love, the same amount of concern and the same amount of irritation.”
During the adoption process the Burgis identified and dealt with three barriers they feel are common to almost all couples considering adoption.
First “is the nagging thought in the back of your head that this child is not genetically yours,” Burgi explained.
“But once a little love leaks out of your heart, you have the revelation that you can love someone who is not related to you.”
The reaction of relatives and friends can reinforce that worry, Mrs. Burgi noted: “We were bluntly asked why we didn’t keep trying to have children of our own. But when people get to know Robert, Joey and Chris and see they truly are our children in every way that counts, most of them fall in love with the boys, too.”
Another barrier is simple fear “that you won’t bond with a child that is genetically dissimilar,” Burgi said.
That is why the Burgis feel being foster parents is a highly beneficial step.
“Foster parents are not obligated to adopt the children they foster,” Burgi pointed out. If the bonding doesn’t occur and the child/children are moved to another placement, “it doesn’t mean you are a failure—it just means the match wasn’t going to work. It is hard, but it is better for everyone involved to learn these things early.”
The final issue is the financial commitment.
“All parents know that the family budget changes dramatically when you start adding children, especially if you do it three at a time,” Burgi said.
“But there is financial assistance available, and people should ask for it. If God has called you to take care of children like this, then he will provide the means to do it.”
Funding comes directly from the Texas Department of Family Protective Services, which oversees all state foster care programs.
The department pays a monthly subsidy for foster children who are adopted. It ranges from $400 to $525 per month per child. The children also receive Medicaid insurance until they turn 18 and free tuition at any state university in Texas.
The decision to face those barriers and pursue adoption took on added meaning when Mrs. Burgi’s father became fatally ill several months ago.
“After his doctors placed him in hospice care, he told us that one of the things he was hanging onto life for was to see the day Robert, Joey and Chris were officially ours,” Mrs. Burgi said. “He was thrilled.”
Standing in the back yard as the four younger boys bailed out of swings, chased the dog and sprayed each other with water guns, she took it all in.
“People asked me why we didn’t get girls since we had a choice, but we really didn’t think that was an option,” she noted. “When I gave birth to my older three children, I didn’t have a choice. God decided for me. We thought that God should decide the children we got when we adopted, too. He led us to these boys.
“In fact, that may be one reason it took so long to get to this point. Chris and Joey were both born—and removed from their home—after we applied with CPS to be foster parents. Maybe God was just holding things up because he had picked them out for us.”
For more information about Baptist Child & Family Services foster care and adoption programs, send an e-mail to adoptions@bcfs.net, call (210) 208-5614 or visit www.bcfs.net.
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