Cybercolumn by Brett Younger: The joy of socks

Posted: 3/24/06

CYBER COLUMN:
The joy of socks

By Brett Younger

Most biblical scholars neglect to point out how prominent footwear is in Scripture. In Ezekiel 16:10, the prophet predicts $200 tennis shoes, “I clothed thee also with broidered work, and shod thee with badgers’ skin, and girded thee about with fine linen, and I covered thee with silk.”

The name of Jacob, one of Israel’s patriarchs, means “one who grabs the heel”—which could be paraphrased “one who grabs the sock.”

Brett Younger

A common punishment was being forced to go without shoes and socks (and in Isaiah 20:2 everything else as well): “Put off thy shoe from thy foot. And he did so, walking naked and barefoot.”

God guards the faithful’s toes, “God will keep the feet of the saints” (1 Samuel 2:9).

Ministers’ feet are especially striking: “How beautiful are the feet of those that preach the gospel of peace” (Romans 10:15).

During a recent sermon, without being aware that I was walking on holy ground, I said: “This is my birthday, so my family has been asking, ‘What do you want?’ It took awhile, but I finally came up with three requests:

• “To have the leaves raked. This was also my Christmas gift.

• “Six pairs of identical black dress socks. That way, if you lose one, you’re still in business.

• “Six pairs of white athletic socks with blue stripes so that they can be identified when another member of my family ‘borrows’ them.”

Two days later, our church’s Tuesday crowd—a Bible study and the International Ministry—socked it to me. They gave me a huge basket of fine-quality hosiery, 105 pairs of socks. (Our minister of education has already asked to preach just before his birthday.) I was told to buy a blue marker if I wanted stripes, but I got everything else you can imagine in a sock. I have socks with red stripes and longer-lasting heels. I received premium rib, cushion crew, relaxed-fit tube, and Lycra Powerfit socks for intense training. I have socks with padding at the toes for added comfort. My new socks have breathability, durability and gold toes. I have socks designed by Ralph Lauren and socks from Big Lots. I now know everything you always wanted to know about socks but were afraid to ask.

I received socks with guarantees, “If you are not satisfied with this product, launder and return it to Consumer Relations, Box 26535, Greensboro, NC, and we will gladly replace it.” (Laundering seems like a reasonable requirement.)

It was made clear to me that Broadway’s clothing-room ministry would be expecting a large donation from me very soon. Almost all of the socks have made it to our Baptist Center, but I loved having the basket in my office for a couple of days.

What you can’t see in the photograph is how big I’m smiling at this clever, delightful and helpful gift. Our clothing room gives one pair of socks per person per month. Socks are especially important for those who are homeless and have to walk everywhere. By the time you read this, 105 people who really need them will have cleaner, warmer socks.

Churches need to find wonderful, funny, creative ways to care for those who need our help. I may ask for shoes next year.

Brett Younger is pastor of Broadway Baptist Church in Fort Worth and the author of Who Moved My Pulpit? A Hilarious Look at Ministerial Life, available from Smyth & Helwys (800) 747-3016. You can e-mail him at byounger@broadwaybc.org.