Cybercolumn by Berry Simpson: Perfect lawn

Posted: 9/29/06

CYBER COLUMN:
Perfect lawn

By Berry Simpson

I have been reading a book I found on the new-book shelf at the Midland County Library, American Green: The Obsessive Quest for the Perfect Lawn, by Ted Steinberg. One amazing fact I’ve learned: Americans spend an estimated $40 billion a year on lawn care.

Steinberg would be disappointed to know that the Simpson family doesn’t have a lawn in the front yard; at least, not a conventional turf-grass lawn. Some years ago, we replaced our grass with a variety of ground covers that some former neighbors might say is nothing but “a big science fair experiment.” The reason we did it was because we wanted something different and more interesting, and because I decided I was sick of mowing. We were successful. Our yard is interesting, if confusing, and I only mow the front yard once a year when Cyndi makes me cut down the Vinca after the daisies have dropped their flowers.

We do have grass in our back yard, however, but only because we have a dog who lives back there and needs grass as part of her environment. Her name is Lady, and she is a Golden Labrador who hates the water and refuses to retrieve (glaring weaknesses in the world of Labrador Retrievers). But she like to run long distances with Cyndi. She’s run over 10 miles on many occasions. Now, she’s suffering the effects of old age, and her body can’t run as well as her mind thinks it can. I can relate to that. (She shows no interest in reading my journals, or in much of anything I have to say for that matter, so I know she won’t mind my mentioning her.)

So we have a back lawn for Lady’s sake. And this summer it’s looked better than it’s looked in years because, well it’s rained a lot lately, and that makes a big difference. But besides that, it was mowed every week all summer. In previous summers, we were out of town so much or I was sick of mowing in 100-degree heat so much the lawn often went three or four weeks between mowings, and it always looked pathetic. Lawns need more attention than I was prepared to give, and our back yard suffered because of me.

But at the beginning of this summer, I learned that my good friend Todd was leaving his lucrative job as a physics teacher and coach and looking for work in the private sector. While he was job hunting; he intended to mow lawns for extra money, and I felt called to help him and his young family by hiring him to mow my lawn every Wednesday. Some may’ve thought that I was taking advantage of Todd’s plight and simply “dodging work,” but I stuck to my commitment and contributed to Todd’s new life all summer long. And our nicely manicured lawn shows the happy results.

We have a mixture of Bermuda grass and St. Augustine grass in the back yard. We used to have a lot of dense Bermuda when the kids were young until our pet rabbits ate it all right down to the dirt. So I replanted and we soon had another dense Bermuda lawn until our Honey Locust trees got big enough to shade-out much of the grass. I didn’t mind the shading effect, and, in fact, I took advantage of it with frequent naps in my hammock. But then the trees died of old age and bores, and I lost my treasured shade, and the grass never grew back to its previous lushness—I think out of sympathy.

The St. Augustine came from our neighbor to the south who one year went crazy and redid his entire back yard. His St. Augustine was so aggressive in its search for new territory it crept under the wooden fence separating our yards and invaded my spotty Bermuda. It steadily moved north and has, of date, conquered half of our backyard. I’m OK with that. I want grass that is happy to be there and ambitious enough to seize the territory, not has-been grass still pouting over old glory days, even if I myself an still pouting over the loss of my hammock shade.

Ted Steinberg quoted Abraham Levitt, creator of the first great planned suburb, Levittown, on Long Island, and pioneer in the American quest for the perfect lawn, who said: “Grass is the very foundation of life.” Well, maybe it is. I have a complicated relationship with my lawn. I want it to look nice and friendly and inviting and pretty, but I don’t want to spend any time working on it. I’d rather lay in my hammock in the shade and read a book.

“I run in the path of Your commands, for You have set my heart free” (Psalm 119:32).

Berry Simpson, a Sunday school teacher at First Baptist Church in Midland, is a petroleum engineer, writer, runner and member of the city council in Midland. You can contact him through e-mail at berry@stonefoot.org.

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