Posted: 11/03/06
Bible class shows love
to people with invisible wounds
By George Henson
Staff Writer
CENTER—The women of the Grace Class at First Baptist Church in Center have a special affection for people with invisible wounds.
That’s why they started Empty Arms—a ministry directed primarily toward families who lose children through miscarriage, stillbirth or early-infant death. The women offer solace and words of peace to mothers, fathers and grandparents.
It began after Judy Stegall attended a program at a church in Lufkin where she noticed a brochure describing a similar program. The ministry and the need for it “just jumped off the page,” she recalled
| The Grace Class at First Baptist Church in Center is composed of more than 20 women with a heart for ministry. Class representatives display some of the baskets they use to minister to parents whose infant children die. |
In May, women from Stegall’s Sunday school class delivered their first ministry baskets.
“It’s really just something to tell them that we love them,” Linda Doudna said.
Each basket is a little different, but all include a “burden bear” with a small quilt and poem attached, a memory journal, a copy of Jack Hayford’s book I’ll Hold You in Heaven, comfort items like bubble baths or word puzzle books and a framed version of Proverbs 3:5-6 in calligraphy.
If the sex of the child is known, a blue or pink ribbon is used to tie the lace around the basket. If not, a yellow or green ribbon is used.
“It’s not that we want to help them get over it so much as to help them get through it,” said Edwina Samford, the Sunday school teacher.
The class of more than 20 members ranges in age from the late 20s to “a little older.”
“We all have the same heart for ministry and missions,” Samford said. “Some have had miscarriages and lost children, and some have not. But God has brought us together for a reason.”
The women buy items for the baskets as they run across them during their regular shopping trips, they said. Then they come together for an evening to assemble them.
So far, they have ministered to more than a dozen families. While it started out as a ministry to people who had miscarriages or stillbirths, the ministry has expanded to include a family with a child with cancer, the family of children killed in a fire and also the family of two children who died after being left in vehicles in the scorching summer heat.
The ministry also began with the thought that it would focus on Shelby County, but Stegall, who is the ministry’s coordinator, said the group has far exceeded any geographical bounds.
“Wherever the Lord impresses our heart, wherever God is working, that’s where we send a basket to,” she said.
The women don’t deliver the baskets directly out of respect for recipients’ privacy. Some are unmarried women who don’t want anyone to know they were having a child. Others may not be emotionally ready at that point to be ministered to, Stegall said.
“When we deliver them, maybe Mommy’s not ready to go through the basket,” she explained. “She may put it aside for awhile until she is ready.”
The baskets are left at the local funeral home and hospitals until needed on some occasions, and even when a basket is made for an unexpected cause, a third party is used.
Included in the basket is a letter from the Sunday school class and one from the church’s pastor, Michael Hale.
Part of the letter from Grace Class reads: “This is such a personal journey, and there’s nothing that I can say to you that will ease the pain you are feeling. I do know someone who can. He is a bereaved parent himself. His Son, Jesus, died on the cross for our sins. He cares for you and can handle your hurt, your anger and your questions. Go to him. He is where healing begins.”
The letter also includes a telephone number if the person wishes to talk to someone from the class.
Even though the women don’t meet the recipient unless she wants them to do so, each basket still represents an emotional investment, Samford said.
“You can’t help but be connected,” she said. “Even though we don’t have the personal contact, every one is a heartache.”
The women particularly want to communicate that they know the loss is real and profound.
“Today’s world wants you to think it’s just tissue; but it’s not, it’s a soul,” said class member Jan Morris. “This is a way to say it’s important to someone besides them.”
“It’s not a piece of tissue; it’s a living being,” Nori Latimer reinforced.
This is a ministry needed in every community, Doudna said.
“Not only is it a need everywhere, but it can happen to anyone—rich, poor, it doesn’t matter. It’s a good way to reach out with the love of Christ,” she said.
The class has a history of reaching out with the Christ’s love. After Hurricane Katrina hit Mississippi, the women thought about the feelings of teenaged girls whose families had been devastated.
They collected 300 prom dresses to send to Moss Point High School in Moss Point, Miss.
As exciting as it was to see all the thrilled teenaged girls, the women said the most special item for them was a wedding dress that had been donated along with the prom dresses.
When they arrived at the school, they asked if a teacher had a daughter getting married who needed a dress. A call was made, and a teacher came hurrying down the hall.
“When she saw the dress, she started shaking. She was afraid to check the size, but it was a size 6, and so was her daughter. It fit her beautifully,” Stegall recalled.
“That just shows it was a God thing,” Morris said. “You can’t even go to a store and find a dress that doesn’t need to be altered.”
The women also have ministered the last three years to carnival workers who come to Center each year for Poultry Fest.
Church members have fed them dinner the night of their arrival each year, and this year, the women also provided each of them with a gift bag of toiletry items.
“When they opened them up, it was like Christmas,” Hale said.
“When you get involved with them, you can’t wait for them to come back,” Morris said.
“When we started, it was a ministry to them, but it’s a ministry to us. There are no words to express how wonderful they are.”
“They told us that never before had anyone fed them, and that broke our hearts,” she added.
“They said nobody sees them. People walk by, but nobody sees them. They are invisible.”
But not to the women of Grace Class, who specialize in tending unseen wounds.
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