Foster mother finds prayers answered through adoption

Posted: 10/14/05

Foster mother finds prayers
answered through adoption

By Felicia Fuller

Buckner Benevolences

MINEOLA–Single and childless at 41, Wendi White was beginning to wonder if having a family was God's plan for her.

“I have a sister and brother who have children, and I was the fun aunt,” she said. “I didn't have kids of my own, so I was the one who had the girls over for slumber parties. I'd dated, but things hadn't quite worked out. I figured if I waited for Mr. Right, I'd be waiting a long time.”

Then a series of events seemed to confirm what others had been suggesting for some time. Perhaps God did intend for White to be a mother but not in the traditional sense.

“A few years back, I was at the mall in Tyler, and there was an event going on, and there was a booth about foster children. I remember stopping and talking to the lady and picking up some literature and saying, 'But I'm single.'”

She said, “So am I, and I'm a foster parent.”

That brief conversation planted the first of many seeds.

White, who teaches first grade at Mineola Primary School, also began to develop a motherly bond with one of her students, who happened to be a foster child.

“I fell in love with her; she was just adorable,” White recalled with a smile. Meanwhile, she learned the school librarian–who also was single–had become a foster parent.

If that wasn't enough, White became engrossed in reading A Child Called “It” by Dave Pelzer, which chronicles the child abuse he endured at the hands of his alcoholic mother and his subsequent experiences in foster care.

“It just seemed like I was getting lots of messages–a lot of little seeds,” White said.

After hearing about Buckner Children and Family Services at a child-care fair, she began gathering all the information she could about foster care and adoption. She learned a prerequisite for becoming a foster or adoptive parent is successful completion of Parent Resource Information Development Education classes. So, with the help of her school's librarian, she located a PRIDE class at First Baptist Church of Longview.

Every Monday night for nine weeks, she studied topics such as bonding and separation, parenting the abused child, discipline and behavior management, and cultural diversity.

“Being a teacher, I had some knowledge in these matters, but the classes were extremely engaging and informative,” she said.

Finally, on May 20, 2004, White received the news she'd been waiting for. Greg Eubanks, executive director of Buckner Children and Family Services of Northeast Texas, called to say they'd just taken in a baby who desperately needed a home.

“He reached me on my cell phone while I was shopping at Wal-Mart,” she said. “Before I could get the gist of what he was saying, my cell phone died. I rushed outside to the pay phone and, boy, was I glad I did.”

The time was approximately 6 p.m. Baby Alexis arrived on her doorstep five hours later.

At two months old, the cherub-faced infant with the translucent blue eyes weighed only 6 pounds.

“Her birthmother, I understand, was addicted to prescription drugs,” White explained.

Friends gathered at White's home to greet the little guest.

“She didn't come with much, so my friends Sharon and Tom brought a crib, sheets and other essentials,” she said. “I remember feeling so overwhelmed that day–and so very blessed.”

White insists she is not one who believes in coincidences. So, when she discovered that Lexi's half-sister lives just down the lane, she knew it was a sign of the divine.

“She's 5 years old and in the custody of their mother's brother and his wife,” she said. “They live on a blueberry farm where I've picked blueberries every summer for years. That just let me know that Lexi's being here is all in the Lord's plan.”

As days turned into weeks, White began the process of adopting Lexi.

“I went into foster parenting with the intent to adopt,” she said. “Motherhood is a gift, and I prayed so long that I would be blessed with that opportunity.”

This summer, at age 42, her prayers were answered, when Alexis Faith officially became the newest member of the White household–a space she shares with two dogs, one inside cat, three outside cats and plenty of love.

“I chose the middle name Faith for her because this whole experience has been a lesson in faith for me,” White said. “I had my plans, and I always wanted to do things according to my plans. I tended to forget to consult God.

“He's shown me over and over that I just need to have faith in him.”