Cybercolumn by Jeanie Miley: Choosing leaders

Posted: 10/25/05

CYBER COLUMN:
Choosing leaders

By Jeanie Miley

“People are so starved for heroes,” my friend told me, “that they will follow anyone who promises them security or a thrill.”

“Be careful, choosing your heroes,” a wise teacher told me. “The heroes you choose will shape your own life.”

The test of a true spiritual leader, I’ve heard, is whether or not that leader leads you to God or ties you to himself.

I’ve also heard that when it’s time to “test the spirits” of a prophet, it’s important to discern if the prophet’s life and message are congruent. It’s a good thing to “watch and wait,” noticing how the person’s life and message unfold, over time, and it’s always smart to notice if the walk matches the talk.

Before I follow someone, I want to know if that person is going to take me where I really want to go, or if, by following the teachings or the example of this person, I might get taken down some primrose path that, after all, is full of thorns. You just can’t be too careful about the person you choose to be your hero, your example or your teacher.

A buzzer goes off in my head if someone offers to “take care of” the followers who are looking to him or to her for guidance and direction. I get a little nervous when there’s too much emphasis on what you can do for the leader, and I run in the opposite direction if a mentor wants to keep me dependent or in a state of arrested spiritual development by making me think that I have to have his or her teachings or guidance in order to survive. I get claustrophobia of the soul when a mere human being takes up too much room in my life, demanding or asking for an allegiance or a contribution that is inappropriate or unreasonable, and if someone threatens me with rejection if I choose to learn from someone else, I know I’m looking for mentors in all the wrong places.

Throughout my life, I’ve been unspeakably fortunate to have some of the finest and best teachers and guides who have led me more deeply into the heart of God. I have been richly blessed by the soul companions who have cared more about the welfare and health of my soul than they have about having their own ego needs gratified or their bank accounts padded by my investments in them. For my entire adult life, I have apprenticed myself to the very best people who could help me learn what it means to love God with my whole mind, heart and soul, and every one of them made sure that my primary connection was not with them, but with God.

Jesus would not let people cling to him. He prayed that those he loved would be “one with the Father” as he was. He wanted wholeness and health for those who followed after him, and he set people free in such a way that when he, himself, was no longer with them, they would be mature and strong enough to stand on their own two feet, filled with faith and able to bless others out of the overflow of their own lives.

I’ve noticed that people who give their first love and their primary loyalty to Jesus don’t get so confused about human leaders. Putting Christ first really does make a difference when it comes to choosing leaders.

Jeanie Miley is an author and columnist and a retreat and workshop leader. She is married to Martus Miley, pastor of River Oaks Baptist Church in Houston, and they have three adult daughters. Got feedback? Write her at Writer2530@aol.com.