Cyber Column by Brett Younger: Learning trust from tragedy

Posted: 9/13/05

CYBER COLUMN:
Learning trust from tragedy

By Brett Younger

When we began seeing the first horrific images from Hurricane Katrina, I thought about Max. On a mission trip to New Orleans in 1997, my job was leading a daily Bible study for 15 homeless men with drug or alcohol addictions. Ex-convicts, victims of abuse, and only a few high school graduates made it a Saturday night crowd rather than one of the Sunday morning crews with whom I usually share Bible study. On the first day, while discussing the parable of the Good Samaritan, I said something like: “It’s hard to know what to teach my children about strangers. I don’t want them to trust everyone, but if I teach them to be afraid, I may also be teaching them to hate.”

Max reacted angrily, shouting: “You don’t know what it’s like in my world. I was 8 years old the first time I saw a man murdered. I’ve lost count of how many murders I’ve seen since then. I have an 11-year-old daughter. I’m going to teach her to fear everyone. If hating them keeps her alive, then I hope she hates them.”

For just a moment, I wished that there were metal detectors on the doors of the mission. A few participants who had only been marginally aware of our Bible study were suddenly interested. I shakily admitted that I really don’t know what it’s like in his world, but I understand that if I lived with his concerns I’d raise my children differently.

During the week, Max and I talked about the way environment shapes our attitudes. Our conversations led us to the conclusion that the poor and the wealthy often start with the faulty assumption that everyone on the other side of the poverty line is untrustworthy. Max helped me understand more about the wisdom that comes from struggles beyond my experience, the dignity born of suffering, the spiritual strength that comes with genuinely thanking God for getting through another day, the honesty of those who have plunged to the depths and come up alive.

It’s been eight years since I’ve seen Max. Maybe he was far away when the water started rising. People move, but he was a native of New Orleans and may still have been among the most vulnerable. I can only hope he’s OK and will get to see his 19-year-old daughter making her way.

And I wonder if, like me, he’s still learning about the limits of self-sufficiency and the need to trust. Strength like Max’s could help him survive a great deal of hardship, but this tragedy has made it clear that none of us can be certain of making it on our own. Hating everyone won’t work. Thousands of evacuees now have no choice but to trust strangers. People who are used to taking care of themselves will find it hard to rely on others for shelter, clothing and friendship.

In the days, weeks and months to come as we find ways to care for those who are hurting, it will require us to trust. It can be frightening to extend kindness to a stranger, but in the midst of this horrible tragedy, we may learn something.

Brett Younger is pastor of Broadway Baptist Church in Fort Worth and the author of Who Moved My Pulpit? A Hilarious Look at Ministerial Life, available from Smyth & Helwys (800) 747-3016. You can e-mail him at byounger@broadwaybc.org.