Posted: 6/11/04
EDITORIAL:
Represent God for $29.95
Here's the latest from the this-would-be-funny-if-it-weren't-so-pathetic department: You can become a “legally ordained minister” within 48 hours.
At least that's what a new e-mail spam offers.
Yes, brothers and sisters, for only $29.95, anyone with a credit card and access to e-mail can get ordained. This is a value “easily worth $100,” according to IIS Ministries, the spammer behind this eternity-changing opportunity.
“As a minister, you will be authorized to perform the rites and ceremonies of the church!!” the e-mail promises. After you receive your ordination certificate “in color, with gold seal … professionally printed by an ink press,” you will possess authority to perform weddings, funerals and baptisms, as well as power to forgive sins and credentials to visit correctional facilities.
Of course, you're thinking: “Becoming an ordained minister would be great! How do I begin?” Don't worry. For just $79, IIS Ministries will send you “Ministry in a Box,” your ministry starter kit. Among other items, it includes an ordination credential with your name imprinted, a wallet ID card, a “wedding and ceremonies workbook” on CD, 15 ceremony certificates for everything from baptisms to house blessings, and (the clincher) a “laminated parking placard with embossed gold seal.”
Who could turn down a deal like that? Everybody, one prays.
Vocational ministry originates with a call from God, not a spammed e-mail. Ordination generates from spiritual wisdom of a church, not an Internet opportunist. And ministry culminates in service to others in Jesus' name, not flashing a parking pass.
Before you dismiss this ecclesiastical e-mail opportunity as tawdry and cheap, think about how congregations often look at vocational ministry. More and more churches see pastors as CEOs, to be fired when the return on investment fails to meet expectations. Many churches handle staff ministers like bit players, to be traded the way the sports franchises shuffle lineups.
Beware of e-mail ordinations, but also of treating ministers like hired hands. God's call to ministry is sacred and holy. And it's not for sale–at any price.
–Marv Knox
E-mail the editor at marvknox@baptiststandard.com
We seek to connect God’s story and God’s people around the world. To learn more about God’s story, click here.
Send comments and feedback to Eric Black, our editor. For comments to be published, please specify “letter to the editor.” Maximum length for publication is 300 words.