Churches slow to acknowledge members have problem with pornography_32204

Posted: 3/19/04

Churches slow to acknowledge members
have problem with pornography

By Beau Black

Religion News Service

FORT WORTH (RNS)–Pornography is a multi-billion-dollar industry and widely available via the Internet–no longer just a dirty little secret.

And evangelical churches, who over the past decades have led the public policy crusade against indecency, are slowly starting to admit to widespread use of pornography among men in their own pews.

Between 40 percent and 70 percent of evangelical Christian men admit they struggle with pornography, says Henry Rogers, a corporate chaplain who records his own experience in “The Silent War,” a book published by New Leaf Press.

Rogers and other like-minded experts say pornography addiction has become a problem of epidemic proportions, one that divides men from family and faith.

It is a tricky problem to address.

“The devil loves a secret,” says Al Meredith, pastor of Wedgwood Baptist Church in Fort Worth. “You don't have to go down to an adult store now and risk being seen in the parking lot” when pornography is readily available on the Internet at the office or at home.

Unlike eating disorders or substance addiction, pornography and sexual addiction still bear a stigma that years of Oprah-ization have drained from other behaviors. Many pastors decline to preach on lust, much less pornography.

Now, because of the spread of Internet pornography and studies indicating the number of men who look at it, churches like Wedgwood and McLean (Va.) Bible Church near Washington, D.C., along with Promise Keepers and the college-targeted Passion ministry, are wading into battle, speaking out against pornography and launching counseling and support groups to help people who struggle with it.

Some experts question whether pornography is a problem at all. British attorney and ethicist Francis Bennion writes in “The Sex Code: Morals For Moderns” that “stimulative pornography” is helpful and should generally be treated as “not immoral.”

Not so for Christians, says Eddie Traughber, a counselor at Austin Street Church of Christ in Garland.

Scripture clearly condemns pornography, Traughber maintains. “According to what Jesus says, if you look lustfully at a woman, you've committed adultery in your heart.”

Viewing pornography can have the same addictive effect on brain chemistry that alcohol or drugs do, Rogers says. “It satisfies for a season, but you want more. It's the same with alcohol.”

Rogers has observed the effect of pornography on the marriages of men he's counseled.

“Your wife won't compete with pornography. The woman online will do whatever I want, and my wife won't do that,” he says. “Nothing cuts at the heart of a woman more than finding out her husband isn't satisfied with her.”

And men aren't the only ones falling into the trap. Shannon Ethridge, author of “Every Woman's Battle,” recalls a recent survey of Today's Christian Woman magazine readers. Of the conservative Christian respondents, 34 percent admitted to accessing visual porn on the Internet, she says. “I think women are finally saying, 'Hey, I'm not the only one.'”

How does viewing pornography turn into an addiction? Colorado Springs-based counselor Doug Weiss identifies some warning signs:

Thoughts preoccupied with pornography.

Spending more time with pornography than you want to.

Losing interest in other activities.

Promising to stop but repeatedly failing.

Finding someone to open up to is a crucial first step in overcoming pornography as an addiction, says Traughber. Whether it's a counselor, pastor or friend, confessing sins is a biblical and psychological imperative.

Next, he says, “you have to be willing to perform a 'radical amputation'–getting rid of the Internet, using a filter, getting rid of magazines, not going to certain parts of town” to begin to break the addictive cycle.

Weiss urges the church: “Get out of denial.” Pastors need to talk about pornography from the pulpit, admitting their own struggles. Rogers says he looks forward to the day when pastors don't call the “porn guy” to come speak but deal with it themselves.

Finally, Weiss encourages churches to “pick a leader and start a (support) group.”

Dave Brown, men's pastor at McLean Bible Church, says aside from offering counseling and encouraging accountability, his group's approach involves refocusing men on “what biblical manhood is” including “the unique responsibilities God has given them in their families, marriages, churches and communities.”

“All of us struggle with sin,” says Meredith. “The only one who gains from (keeping it secret) is the devil. All of us have the idea that 'if anyone knew what I struggle with, they'd throw me out of here.'”

Ethridge points to the Bible for inspiration.

“There's always that feeling that no one will understand. But it goes back to Scripture that no temptation has seized you except what is common to man. There's nothing new under the sun,” she says.