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Posted: 7/25/03

O'Brien: With no forgiveness, no peace

By John Hall

Texas Baptist Communications

WACO–The inability to forgive is the major obstacle preventing people from spiritually maturing, a Baylor University professor told participants at the Texas Baptist Church Weekday Education Conference.

Sin creates barriers of separation between people as well as a divide between individuals and God, said Randall O'Brien, a professor of religion.

“We've all got skeletons in our closet,” O'Brien said. “Some of us have so many skeletons we have walk-in closets.”

People, including followers of Christ, tend to mentally relive emotionally painful events over and over, and rage and resentment builds, he indicated.

“If you have been sinned against … please don't clobber yourself over and over and over again,” O'Brien urged. “To refuse to forgive is to become a prisoner to your pain.”

Christians must forgive people who hurt them, just as Christ commanded, he encouraged. Forgiveness removes the obstacles between people and renews Christians' relationships with God.

Christians need to stop waiting for individuals to repent of their errors before forgiving them, O'Brien said. Believers should model the grace Jesus showed on the cross and forgive others before they repent.

Forgiveness is an effective evangelism tool, he added.

“Maybe if we forgive, they will become everything they are to be,” O'Brien said.

Forgiveness is not always easy, he acknowledged. It can be a slow process when the sin is especially painful or hard to face. Reconciliation begins with the victim, not the perpetrator in American society, he continued.

In all cases, believers should begin with prayer, O'Brien noted. God can help people take “baby steps” toward forgiving other people if they pray. God can lead people to want to forgive when they initially resist it, he said.

“If you and I have not tried prayer, we have not tried God's way to deal with rage,” O'Brien said. “I can't think of another way to take a big step toward maturation than forgiveness.”

O'Brien outlined four stages of forgiveness. The process begins with the initial pain of sinning or being sinned against and then progresses to feelings of alienation and estrangement from another person or God.

Giving the alienation and pain to God is the third necessary step in forgiveness, according to O'Brien. The last step is reunion of friendship and the return of a proper relationship with Christ as Lord.

By “giving the pain to the Lord,” a believer can resolve a painful past or a difficult situation, he said. The forgiveness process reconciles Christians to other people and the Lord, he noted.

“Only forgiveness liberates you from a painful past.”